"Why don't you blog anymore?" She asked. Well, the short version is simple--there's nothing good to blog about. I've been put through the ringer these past twelve months, gotten beat down, broken, then rebuilt, only to have the same thing happen all over again. I've been betrayed by someone I should have been able to trust, and she made me bleed for it, too. My heart has been heavy, and I thought I could fix it by shedding a bit of weight, but the truth came to me tonight: I'm not ready. Not at all.

What I had before is GONE, but I can see it--I see her in other people, people that have never even known her. I can feel it--I feel her next to me, though she's never been farther. I can smell it--her scent is strong on strangers; it may be different, but it's familiar. And it hurts so much.

I can't keep doing this--I can't be who I was, because that person is in SO much pain; I have to change everything. I've heard people say that, if you're gonna burn a bridge, you might as well scorch it; I think that's what I'm gonna do, too.

-J